UDOM: BEFORE THE ARRIVAL OF MORE LETTERS…
BY UBONG SAMPSON
It is a very popular story, though I have heard it in different
versions; but your preferred version, or the ones you have heard
notwithstanding, the comprehensive summary of the story has it that the
woman who ran out of the stream naked in pursuit of a mad man who took
away her clothes had erred greatly- an act she paid dearly for.
For
those who are not or not too familiar with the story, it is about a
certain woman who stopped by a stream in a hot afternoon to cool off her
severely heated skin. And she was still in the stream enjoying the
effect of condensation on her previously burning skin, when a passing
mad man made away with her clothes.
As expected of any sane person,
the said woman, having found herself in such situation, only would have
remained in the stream, while hoping that someone gets to hear her
raised alarm and consequently meets her rescue. But sadly, her “common
sense” was not enough to guide her properly, as she ran after the mad
man (still naked) through the farm tracks and to the express.
Well, a
certain version of the story claims that both the mad man and his
victim were apprehended by some members of the community who bundled
them to a psychiatric home; but my own version could not see any
reason(s) why the mad man could have been bundled, owing to his
appearance which obviously had showed his level of experience in the
madness business. Rather, my version claims that the people had
suspected the woman to have just lost her sense and as a result, decided
to help her get urgent psychiatric attention before she crosses the
market gate. And upon being held, not even her loud screams of “I am not
mad” could save her. After all, how many of the mad people do admit
being mad. But then, to the woman, it was a sad and humiliating
experience, one will agree.
Having had so much distractions
contributively from the many attacks by Boko Haram, impeachment wars,
zoning fuss (particularly Akwa Ibom), and most recently, the epidemic of
Ebola virus; we had almost lost memory of the open letter writing saga,
as re-introduced by our dear 2-time ruler, ex-president Olusegun
Obasanjo as a new tool of political communication; but for the
magnanimity of a supposed distinguished and honoured senior advocate of
Nigeria who is currently serving Nigeria in Russia on an ambassadorial
appointment that would have better off been an exile, and who just
recently reminded us of Baba’s solace-finding way of expressing
political frustrations in the name of letter writing.
In the said
letter which had the Akwa Ibom State’s secretary to government, Udom
Emmanuel as recipient; Chief Assam Assam (SAN) had taken so much time to
recount his life’s frustration and ridiculously, made efforts to put
his onetime boss, now political arch rival, if not enemy, Godswill
Akpabio (Governor) at the centre of blames for his frustrations… just
like a drowning man will always mistake stripes for straws.
Trust
me, I had wished to ignored that great show of comic talent by our dear
ambassador, or better still, recommend it to the entertainment world as a
good show for comic relief, but for another part of the letter where
Chief Assam had so much confidence in his fantasy-like guber dream.
Truth be told that after reading the Assam letter to Udom Emmanuel, I
could not help wondering if there are other means one can become
governor in a democratic setting without being voted for, because aside
the non-electoral process (that’s if any), Assam’s guber ambition for
all I know, will only end within his illusive mind, as was ever borne.
However, considering my version of the story, and juxtaposing same with
the recently launched open letter war between Chief Assam and Udom
Emmanuel, I need not explain who is playing the role of the mad man and
that of the woman in the stream. But if I must play the role of the
interveners, then I will have to ignore the already known mad man and
save the woman who perhaps, is not truly mad, but only mistaken to be
due to the situation.
As much as I understand Udom’s desire to prove
to both Chief Assam and every other person that even bankers,
especially professional ones of international repute as he claims to be,
are equally good in letter writing, why he had to issue a reply to such
a letter and to a figure as controversial as Chief Assam is what I am
yet to comprehend. And owing to a deceptive thought that crept into my
mind, I was about asking him (Udom) to sack the very aide that suggested
to him the idea of replying Chief Assam, when a certain part of the
reply letter gave me a counter proof that both the idea of issuing a
reply and the letter of reply proper could only have been the handwork
of Udom. But should the earlier thought in my mind be true, then while
the later may be affirming Assam’s claim of Udom being a stranger in his
own land, the said thought will only present the adviser to be either
not an Akwa Ibomite or an Akwa Ibomite who had spent almost all his
lifetime in diaspora.
Be that as it may, Udom erred by ever
conceiving or buying the idea of replying Assam. At least, if he had
avoided chasing Assam in his nakedness, maybe he would not have exposed
his ignorance in public… ignorance that misled him into believing his
benefactor, Governor Akpabio who must have told him the glorified lie
that he (the governor) exacted no revenge, following the PDP/ACN clash
that sadly consumed lives and properties in Ikot Ekpene and Uyo in 2011.
And I am sure Uncle Udom must have been overseas at that time, because
even non-Akwa Ibomites in Lagos and other parts of the country heard of,
and can still narrate the story before, during the after the clash.
Only if he had ignored Chief Assam, maybe this would still have been a
secret.
As blame-deserving as the woman in the story was, Udom, the
supposed only sane person in this context knew of Assam’s letter writing
antecedents, yet still considered another letter from an unrepentant
Assam reply-deserving, even with its glaringly ill intentions and
inciting nature.
Also in the letter of reply, Udom at a point, got
so carried away by emotions that he barely knew when he robbed modesty
of its due regards by reminding us once again of his ‘intimidating’
profile. Same profile we have been reading in prints for over a year
now; or maybe we were yet to hear from the horse’s month.
Again
Uncle Udom in his letter had accused Chief Assam of having lacked love
for, and believe in his state- a convert reason he spent over four(4)
decades (40 years) contributing to the development of a foreign land
without mounting as small as a bungalow in his state of origin. This is a
well known fact. But then, how right is it when pots refer to kettles
as black, even as black as they equally are? As bad as Uncle Udom wants
us to believe Chief Assam is in this regard, can he show us the seeds he
sowed in the state that are of general benefit to the state? Okay! At
least he owns a bungalow in the state, and in that case, he has less
black stains than Assam.
The good and interesting thing discovered
in this movie of open letter writing is that Udom, like a brilliant
student that he is, is fast learning politics and so importantly,
adapting to the dirtiness of its nature. Udom, by counter-attacking
Assam, has, whether knowingly or the reverse, proven how much he desires
the Hilltop Mansion job and how much determined he is to pass through
the process of getting there. But that notwithstanding, if he would ever
be given the chance; it will certainly not be based on his economy
transformation outcry. After all, with all the records and international
connections he has been making boasts of, why did he not show us little
examples by partnering the state on some small scale investments,
irrespective of how little of an effect it would have had on the
economy? Or did he just realize he is from Akwa Ibom State?
Summarily, now that Udom has shown his capacity to read, understand and
reply letters accordingly, I hope he will be able to reply all the
letters underway, because having gone out naked in chase of a mad man, I
am seeing the same mad man who must have enjoyed the first show
returning for a rematch, or perhaps from other mad men who possibly felt
unhappy missing the first show and may likely attempt creating similar
shows for themselves. I so hope Udom is ready to bear the stigma that
will follow when he is done showing off all the nakedness in him. I
really do hope.
CULLED FROM THE SINE QUA NON COLUMN OF COMMUNITY
PULSE NEWSPAPER (TUESDAY, August 05 edition); AND WRITTEN BY UBONG
SAMPSON, A PUBLIC/POLITICAL AFFAIRS ANALYST.
No comments:
Post a Comment